I’m Free

I dared to believe at the start of the year of a better way of being. I dared to believe I could return to writing, to fall head over heels in love with it. I dared to conceive a future where depression did not dog me. I dared to think of myself as being separate from eMergent Publishing. I dared to chase my own dreams.

In late May I announced I was taking an extended sabbatical from editing and publishing to focus on writing. It’s a bit like the five year refocus. Five years ago I left editing to focus on writing and ended up founding eMergent Publishing with Paul.

Now I can say, for the first time since 2008 I am free to do anything I want… any old time, Soup Dragons style. Tomorrow I pick up my novel where I left off the weekend of the Rabbit Hole. The characters have been slowly wandering back into my head over the last week, glad to be stretching their legs and saying good-bye to the Green Room.

I am excited.

This heralds the paradigm shift this year has been building toward. More writing. Less editing. Less stress. More work with the people who support, inspire and encourage me.

For the first time since I returned to writing in late 2007, I am respecting and valuing who I am and what I have to offer. This year has taught me a lot about how I do a disservice to myself. No more cow-towing. No more destruction of my boundaries. No more saying yes when no is the answer. No more Ms Nice when people do the wrong thing by me. No more bending over backward to accommodate the needs of others, at my own expense. No more.

There will be more writing. More collaborating with the partners I love and admire. More writing. More dreaming big. More having two feet firmly on the ground. More writing. And hopefully, more opportunities to share those words with a bigger audience.

I could get used to the feeling of being free.

 

 

About these ads

4 thoughts on “I’m Free

  1. *happy dance initiated*
    And I have this image of you driving around a trailer full of bovines when you are cow-towing.
    Go forth and be free.
    Adam B @revhappiness

    • Driving a herd of bovines around sounds like a much more pleasant experience to subverting myself to accommodate the egos of others.

      I remember my folks had this cage thing that went over the trailer, when we lived in the country. They’d put the poddy calves in there and transport them home from the markets in Ballarat.

      Anyway, will join you in the happy dance. Go forth, be free makes me want to disrobe and go dancing through a field of flowers.

  2. It’s such a blessing to give yourself permission to do what’s right for you. Go for it :) and good for you. Your blog makes me think about how I don’t allow myself the space to do what I need, instead of always what others need of me.

    • Paradigm shift Paula… time to scratch out a little corner for yourself, to do whatever you wish to do in it. Even if that little corner is just one hour on a Sunday to indulge in something you love. Something just for you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s