I’m sorry you didn’t get laid for Valentines.
I’m sorry ‘Sexual Healing’ got stuck on your iPod, for two hours, without you knowing how to fix it. I’m sorry the champagne cork broke in the bottle. I’m sorry your elbow kissed my mouth when you tried to slip your arm around my shoulder and it interrupted your mojo.
I’m sorry you couldn’t get it up even though I tried every trick I knew to get you hard.
Most of all I am sorry your credit card was declined and my minder broke your leg. I did try to get him to go easy on you, after all it was Valentines Day and you hadn’t exactly got what you were paying for.
I hope Valentines Day is less painful next year.
PS: I’m sorry for lying. Yes, Susie is a stage name. I’m sorry it’s also your mum’s.