Postcardia #29

Made from scratch from a pilfered holiday brochure (nabbed specifically for the front cover image which I then discovered was twice as big because it folded out) and words from the Elyora baggie of page fragments.

Quite happy with the way it turned out. Gothic with gothic with gothic.

Haiku Oracle Challenge, Days 14 & 15

Day 14
Create a poem about summer


heat waves shimmering
about the dead grass
insects singing 

Speaks for itself!

.   .   .

Day 15
What is emerging?


veiled in morning mist
it sang itself
above the dead grass

Something new, something fresh, (a beginning?) that cannot be seen yet but is heard, making itself known over the desolation that’s been left behind.

So I guess I listen.

I’m good at that.

And trusting in the coming dawn.

Challenge hosted by @otmoraclecards

When All Avenues Are Exhausted

This week has been a roller coaster. To put it mildly.

I’ve hinted about a project I’ve been slowly gestating. One that combines all my passions: postcards, poetry, art, community building. I’ve also hinted that all hasn’t been going as smoothly as I had hoped it would be.

GET IN TROUBLE

In February, I created a series of postcard-sized art poems during Post-It Note Poetry month. After a few days I realised how hard it was to adequately capture each card as an image.I asked a friend who is a professional photographer about them and he assured me they would scan fine. And so I kept on producing them. 

Half way through the month, I took the first 14 in to be scanned. The results were less than brilliant. I put it down to a dirty screen on the copier and kept producing.

NOT QUITE SO WONDERFUL

The thing was, when I reviewed the scanned images in March with my co-conspirator, when all the drawing, cutting, pasting and building was done, we both came to the conclusion that the scans were underwhelming  – the acuity of the colour had been bled out of  the art, flattening and dulling it. So I sought my friend, the professional photographer, to see if he was able to do a better job with them.

When he sent through the images and I had a good look, I was devastated. He made the images sparkle, there was colour, it wasn’t consistent though and the acuity in the words was sacrificed for the colour. 

There was no easy fix. 

I felt like giving up. 

But at the same time, my brain had kicked into creative problem solving mode. I was already mentally creating my dot point list of alternatives.

LIGHTNING STRIKES

The night before the photos arrived, I’d also been gifted an idea of the next possible art poem mash up. Woke up with it at 3am. So yes, devastated by receiving the images that hadn’t lived up to my expectations,  but hopeful of having a back up.The new idea didn’t work and my first foray into water colour was pretty abysmal. I showed up the next day to try again, back using my original poetry technique and a new text. The results were a little more heartening. It gave me enough hope that if everything did fall through with the February cards I had a medium in which to continue with a new series.

FACING UP TO THE FINAL SIREN

I put off going into The Valley, to see the printer, for a week. And with each passing day, my anxiety  grew. Like all anxiety, it was completely irrational. I had a way forward of this path became a dead end. Still, it was a tsunami of anxiety that engulfed me Wednesday morning…it would have been so much easier to just not go. 

But I did. 

I went. 

I was prepared for the worst. Hopeful for the best.

The answer was definitive: I had created something unreproducible. With that knowledge I was able to let go and focus on a way forward.

UNEXPECTED GOOD NEWS

The new idea was reproducible, and to sweetened the deal, I was quoted a cost half of the cheapest quote I had. I felt all along that this probably had to do with the printer and making local connections. The original artwork from February will be listed for sale in the coming weeks and will be the seed funds for the project that I hadn’t quite sorted out. Everything finds its place if you let it. 

SHAKE IT OFF

But I’ve taken a battering – my confidence isn’t at an all time high, like when I started! I feel kicked about. However I’m so much wiser now. Mistakes I’ve made will never be made again. I remind myself of my first publisher’s mistake: not all black is black. Ironic to find myself defeated by black again! Timelines are rejiggable. And best of all, this has been kind of running under the radar so I didn’t have to front up to say: hey, about that, I failed.

All through, I’ve kept to my mantra of smooth and easy. Where it hasn’t been, I’ve embraced the fact I’ve learned something new or been connected with an unexpected opportunity. 

There’ll be more about what I have been brewing (because the actual project does not change, only the content does!) and a chance for you to step with me through the creation of that content in the coming month. 

Embracing Venus’s shadow has never been so heart breaking and simultaneously ecstatic.

Haiku Oracle Challenge, Days 3 & 4

Day 3
Your Gift to the World


into the chestnut

it sang itself

into the gloom

At first glance, yet again, not a terribly happy looking one. I have very little experience with the symbology of chestnuts (I ate plenty as a kid because we had a tree on our farm and we’d put them in the open fire in a basket for frying chips and I remember saying they were like a potato, but sweet like desert!) A little poking around on the interwebz turned up chestnuts as symbols of prevention and foresight. Apparently they are little nutrition bombs. With this in mind…

My gift to the world is the ability to share my gifts of foresight and knowledge. Of nourishing those in need. I love the idea of what I do as singing into the gloom – of bringing hope and insight, relief and support, to those who are having a rocky time. You may be one of the people on the other end of a random message from me or someone I’ve been able to open a door for to step into new possibilities. Perhaps you are someone I will do this for in the future. 

The slogan for my tarot business, which will get up and running soon, is ‘First my soul learned to speak, then she yearned to sing’. No accidents. 

I am hoping to work with those who have become stuck on their soul journey or who have fallen into the darker places and would like to see the light again. Those who wish to heal their deepest soul wounds. The ‘deep tissue massage for the soul’ kind of readings.

Day Four

Your biggest challenge


attached to nothing

utterly away

and sleeps awhile

In mid-June 2015, I removed myself from social media completely. It was in part a challenge to see if it was possible. In part it was a deep need in me to own my invisibility (I was mid-Neptune transit at the time) I was only meant to be gone 110 days with my friend, Rus. I ended up being gone for 6 months.

Instagram was my toe dip at the start of 2016. Gradually I’ve added other platforms. But my personal FB account has had nothing posted to it since 2015. I haven’t quite known how to re-engage there–until Sunday.

But to create a new account, shift  people over, and archive the old account/keep it just for very close friends and family – well I would just rather go to sleep and wish it would all take care of itself. It would be awesome to be able to do business without a FB presence!

The other side of this is the challenge of detaching. From old stories. Old hurts. Old cycles of feelings and thinking that keep on coming around. I am getting better. An ancient wound has been healed and released, and I am hoping it will give me some more oomph in living in that zen space of detachment (which when I achieve it, is so lovely and freeing).

Another Perspective

My son is almost 13 and this pack especially intrigues him. He looked over this spread and asked me what the question was about. He then told me it was a challenge to be able to deal with being lonely, being cut off from people. And not being able to sleep properly. Oh, did my heart ache. 

He sees me so clearly. Yes. 

That’s probably my real challenge. I am deeply struggling with loneliness. Of everyone else being busy and having fulfilling lives. Of being left behind. 

It’s a challenge to be okay to feel it when it comes over me like a dark cloud. To not give into despair. To not try and run away from it. To honour it. 

And as a recovering insomniac, sleep is always a challenge.

I can see the two of us both using this deck this month. Or perhaps deferring for a second opinion – when I’m at risk of sugar-coating it all!!

**Challenge hosted by @otmoraclecards**

NB: ‘And sleeps awhile’. Officially being stalked by that card now!!! Third time I’ve pulled it. In case I’d forgotten that sleep is important