For the past few days Dylan has been bugging me to go bowling. I finally gave in last night and said we could venture down to the local bowling alley after kindy gym today. Then I woke up this morning with the most awful lower back pain and the last thing on my ‘most enjoyable list with disabling back pain’ was bowling. Still a promise is a promise.
By midday my back was “warmed up” and I was ready to look as though I was excited about the prospect of trying to make the overweight ball go in the right direction towards the ten sad looking pins at the end.
It was as I was struggling to make the ball do what I wanted it to do (so as not to be upstaged by my not yet five year old son – who in the end beat me by 50 points!) I realised what a metaphor bowling was for the current state of affairs in my life.
There are a number of elements in my life which I am beginning to see as obstacles and how cathartic it would be to just heave a bowling ball at them, knock them all down, clear the way and let me go on. I thought about them as I twisted and made a dick of myself in the quest for the perfect strike (I got one … as I was meditating on this.) The thing with bowling, well at least from my perspective, with all the panache, all the skill and all the practise, there is still an element of luck in it. You also have to concentrate – you have to really want to knock the pins down.
There was a moment when the mechanics reached down, lifted up two pins and swept the others away. If only life could be like that. If only some universal mechanism would lift me up and sweep away the crap around me so I could stand alone, uncluttered and ready to go again. But life isn’t always like bowling or is it?
In game two after three successive “eights” I could see me as the lone Monk in my tarot deck – the eight of cups – hiking up a challenging hill with one cup, leaving behind the other seven behind. The card speaks of a difficult but necessary decision to move on.
So using bowling as a metaphor – it is time to start cutting down some obstacles, after one more review of what fits with my philosophy of ‘just write’. To make a conscious effort to clear my part. Scoring some strikes along the way would be nice too.
As Paul alluded to in a recent blog post, there are times when you have to make decisions about how you want to spend your time and these have to be transposed on the responsiblities which you have, ones which you can wean yourself out of and others you either have no current choice to opt out of or you really want to be part of.
It’s all part of the internal de-clutter. And with Mars in Taurus it does feel like the hard plod – though as a triple grey ox you would think by now I’d be used to the hard slog. Or perhaps I’m tired of it.