[Fiction] Friday: Gargoyles Revenge

fiction friday

[Fiction] Friday Challenge for August 21st, 2009:

Start your story with a game of hide and seek.

“Like a moth to a flame burnt by the fire. My love it blind can’t you see my desire.” ~ Janet Jackson

“Josh I’m not playing hide and seek.” There was no answer.

I shuddered and tried not to look up at the gargoyles, their jowls ravenous and unforgiving. I knew they were leering down at me. From where I sheltered I could hear the base bleeding up the hill through the bitter midnight air and I wished I’d made a better decision. Stayed down there in the night club and lost myself on the dance floor to Shaggy or Janet Jackson rather than up here.

“Josh c’mon,” I yelled, rubbing my freezing arms and pressing myself further into the alcove created by the wall and a stone column of some description to avoid the wind. “How long does it take to piss? ”

I had been comfortable down the hill in Hot Gossip, which had once been Chapter House – owned by the Catholic Church. Up here among the other Church buildings still owned by the Dioceses the good will trip to the autoteller with my best friend’s boyfriend seemed a bad idea. She was imagining two plus one was something it could never be. Not in this circumstance

“I’m not coming looking for you. Josh?”

It was cold – probably edging somewhere towards zero and I gave a fuck about it. There wasn’t enough alcohol in me to voluntarily wander up the street scantily clad with him. There had been no mention of a pitstop when we left, despite the fact the deal was brokered outside the toilet in the foyer.

I didn’t want to be up here with Josh. But I couldn’t leave. I was scared of the dark but at 18 it was no longer acceptable to admit to fearing dark places. I didn’t want to admit I was terrified. Thoughts of dares to go down into the convent from the music room at high school were darting through my head now. All the nefarious things which lurk in the places we don’t want to go. Next thing Freddie Kruger would step out of the shadows – to slice and dice me. He’d already made short work of Josh and that’s why he wouldn’t call back.

Heart thundering I stepped out of the alcove, staring hard into the darkness and wishing the street lighting penetrated further than the foot path. I kept a hand on the stone wall.

“Josh? If you don’t come out I’m going back down to the hill. I don’t care if I don’t have any more money.” There was a definite hysterical pitch to my voice now.

The wind howled and I felt the needle prick of goosebumps break out over my bare arms. The base transitioned into faster rhythm like the DJ had pressed the throttle forward. I knew the base line – it was Lenny Kravitz, are you gonna go my way?

I inched forward into the nothingness between the two buildings in the direction Josh had gone to relieve himself. A moment of bravery, inspired by the beat.


I stumbled back a few steps when his body knocked into me. He came from nowhere and his lips were crushing mine as my back hit the wall my hand had been tracing seconds earlier. His hands were on either side of my head, sandwiching me bewteen the heat of his body and the frigidness of the stone.

My first thought was to push him away and slap him. Remind him he was my best friend’s boyfriend. Remind myself. But he had been mine before he had been hers. And it was all to familiar. His aftershave. The shape of his body. The way he kissed. My mouth melded and moved with his.

“I thought you hated me,” I gasped when he finally pulled away from me.

“You think too much,” he said, moving back in close.

“No. Not here.” I gathered myself. The chasm between the right thing and the right thing for me was rapidly closing.  “Come back to my place.”

He considered it for a moment and agreed.

And between the confessions was we walked and the two hours shared between the front of the gas heater and beneath my doona I unknowingly descended to a place I could never escape intact from. I was forever playing hide and seek with the truth. No one would win.

The rumours of Josh’s infidelity had inevitably found their way back to my best friend well before that evening.  She’d pressed me to sure up his position. Josh loved her didn’t he? He wouldn’t do that to her? It was easy to hide the truth from her but much harder for me to seek peace with the revenge which had played me straight into his well laid web of lies.

13 thoughts on “[Fiction] Friday: Gargoyles Revenge

  1. Josh has a nasty way of making her do what she knows she shouldn’t. I like how her choice to take him back to her bed was fostered by Josh and his playful game of hide and seek.

    On a side note, I admire your ability to post a [fiction] friday story whilst competing as a Forth Fiction outside participant. Kudos.


  2. loved another version of hide-and-seek game and a line of yours:

    ‘It was easy to hide the truth from her but much harder for me to seek peace with the revenge…’

    thanks for sharing with us!


  3. Chris – Josh had a nasty way of knowing how to be unfaithful and for the women he deflowered along the way to stay Mum about their activities. Nothing like hunting down your girlfriend’s friends. I have been taking a break from Fiction Friday to do some editing – but the taking on TV last night were crap and the story had been rattling around in my head so thought I would put it down.

    I’m not sure what committment Fourth Fiction is going to task of us (especially as it collides with NaNo in November) but I’m up for the writing challenging. Most of my time is currently consumed with editing and critiquing work, or writing non fiction – so it is always fun to come and play with fictional characters.

    Kajo – the analogy of hide and seek was too good not to use somewhere else – and it only occured to me after the contrived ending I first came up with, that there was a far simpler and better way to express it all (so yes – I did cheat and do a tiny bit of editing before posting!)

    Thank you both for taking the time to read and comment!


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  5. my responce to battypip is it would be josh that is uglier the gargoiles are just sitting on the wall no action at all but josh is making all the moves .. lol yes all the wrong moves .. Great job in writing this I liked the way it was presented and the little u turn at the end.

    Larry Moon
    This Blog Of Mine


  6. Oh, they’re all as ugly as gargoyles. Human nature is as unchanging as crouching creatures in stone — the men who relentlessly pursue women, the women who give in to them, the social structure that punishes some but not all. We glance in the mirror and we see gargoyles; we see ourselves.

    I appreciated that after her excruciating time waiting for Josh, rather than a macabre twist you took it to what I at first thought would be the equivalent of date rape, but then quickly turned into consensual activity. Followed by the barb of revenge.

    –Jeff Posey


  7. Thanks to all the Fiction Fridayers and Friday Flashers (ohh that sounds bit wrong!) who have stopped by. I greatly appreciated your comments.

    I will be getting around to reading all your pieces across the rest of the week.


  8. I like the fact that the narrator here feels unreliable. The line ‘He was mine before he was hers’ tips us off about the ending. Emotionally wrangled. Complicated, just as these relationships can be.


  9. My apologies for being late. Everyone talks about Josh being a nasty piece of work… our narrator knows he has a girlfriend. Oh, the web we spin!

    Great story 😉


  10. 2mara you’re right. She knows he has a girlfriend – who also happens to be her BEST friend. Revenge leaves no winners.

    And no probs on being late – I’m am exceptionally late having not got around to read anyone’s yet – given my son is having a TV fast all week 🙂


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